I got cheated on by my ex fiancé after 7 years of being together, so I was the one to break up with him back in 2013…
It was my first breakup, and I was not emotionally equipped to process what id been through.
Let me provide some background
My ex and I had a truly toxic and co-dependent relationship.
For the entirety of the 7 years that we were together, we were either talking morning to night or physically together. We even fell asleep on the phone.
He wanted all my attention to belong to him, so slowly, he cut me off from friends and even distanced me from my own family members, including my sister.
When I found out he cheated on me, he literally went from being the only person I talked to for nearly a decade to a complete stranger: number blocked, social media blocked, etc.
And actually, the break up happened over the phone as he’d cheated on me while being out of town…
So there was truly a lack of closure in that regard.
It felt like he had died.
The first thing I did when we broke up was to message the “other girl” and tell her to make sure she was there for him since he’d thrown away our relationship for her.
Then, I messaged his friends to check in with him as I knew he had extreme mental health issues and suicidal tendencies.
Even after getting cheated on, my first instinct was to MAKE SURE HE WAS OK, and I’m not proud of a lot in my life—but I’m proud as hell at how I handled that situation.
Then, I began to distract myself.
I developed a social life after being isolated for the entirety of my high school and college years.
For the first time I could do whatever I wanted, and honestly, it was the best feeling in the world.
I bumped into an old friend (and a former crush) soon after — literally three weeks after my other relationship ended — and we began hanging out.
I tried to take it slow, but I was just so into him…
And he was so into me…
6 months later we were engaged.
Now in the first 6 months of us dating, I was seeing a psychiatrist to deal with the anxiety and depression of my failed engagement and being cheated on.
They prescribed me to Zoloft and I feel the medication suppressed my emotion.
I didn’t let myself FEEL or PROCESS the emotions of the trauma I went through, and after getting engaged again to Naush, I felt so happy that I quit the medication.
That is when all my trauma surfaced and it was one of the hardest things I’ve been through…
I became so paranoid that Naush would cheat on me too. It became an obsessive phobia—something I would literally thing about almost 100x or more a day.
It was so unhealthy, and it was then that the real healing began for me:
I re-started my medication
I started seeing a therapist
I began to meditate
I read books on intrusive thoughts and phobias to better understand what was happening in my mind
I kept naush in the loop with my psychiatrist and therapist so he understood what I was going through
I made lots of incredible friends
I picked up new hobbies
All these things helped me tremendously, and honestly time does heal a lot. If you’re going through a breakup, block your ex. Cut all communication. Build a support system. Try therapy and meds if necessary. Meditate. Exercise. Find a new hobby. Travel. Glow up, and be the best version of you—
Because the best version of you will help attract the one who is truly worthy of you. I truly believe this.
Here are a few of the most difficult things I went through in my 20s, and as hard as some of this was to get through—these experiences were ultimately my greatest teachers.
I hope you might learn from them too, as these are essential lessons for most 20-year-olds.
I got cheated on by someone I was with for 7 years— I learned to walk away from what was not right for me. I learned my self worth, and I finally got to a point where I wasn’t willing to give that up for anyone
I got diagnosed with Anxiety, Panic Attacks & Borderline Personality Disorder—which taught me that I a) struggle with emotional regulation and relationships and b) how to re-gain control via medication, therapy, prayer, exercise, meditation, a support system, and will-power.
I got $140,000+ stolen from me—this taught me not to trust as easily as I once had, especially in business. It also taught me how to re-build myself after financial devastation.
I experienced a major falling out with my in-laws— but ultimately, I learned the value of family and forgiveness. I learned to move forward, even when it’s not difficult, and love despite the shortcomings of both myself and others.
I lost more friends than I can count—For a while, I thought I was simply “unlikeable,” but I realized that often the greatest people are the loneliest. They keep their circles small. I now value one-on-one relationships far more than being part of friend groups that are often drama fueled.
This is just a slice of what I’ve been through and overcome in my 20s, but again, I’m grateful for the lessons. Maybe they’ll help you too.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.