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When my daughter Lily was two months old, I experienced something that most new parents fear: a colicky newborn

She turns four next month, but I’ll never forget how hard she used to cry from 8pm to 11pm every night.

Naush & I would try anything and everything to console her—but with nothing to show for our efforts.

Once she was a little over three months, the colic subsided, but lately, it feels like we are going through it again—except this time, with an older kid.

She whines and cries over anything and everything, all day long, and I know that I’m largely to blame.

I spoiled her so much, and also, I remind myself that this is normal.

Still, if I don’t nip this in the bud now, I’ll have a much larger problem to deal with down the line…

I have to somehow become more firm with her, but she walks all over Naush & I.

She’s an only kid, and she knows we have a very, very hard time saying no to her.

I hate seeing her cry. It physically hurts me to see her upset, but lately, it’s been feeling like nothing I do will get her to stop.

I have to set firm rules, boundaries and limits with her—no matter how hard it is.

Can any other mamas relate? Any advice?

I had a decision to make…

Do I go, or do I stay?

It hadn’t even been a week since one of my farm animals JoJo passed away, but we had a family trip booked to Puerto Vallarta.

It was my brother-in-law’s 30th birthday celebration, including a beachfront villa, private chefs, yacht, DJ, and more.

By not going, I’d be missing arguably the greatest birthday celebration that I’ll ever be invited to, but by going…

By going, I’d deny myself the time and space to properly heal from her death, which had been extremely traumatic for our family.

A pitbull had broken into our yard and killed Jojo, a female red kangaroo that we’d raised since she was a baby.

She wasn’t just an “animal.” She was family, so ultimately, I opted to stay home.

And I’m glad I did.

Lots of tears were shed this weekend in her honor.

Lots of time was spent outside where she once lived.

Lots of healing happened with my little family as we spent time together and honored her memory.

And to be honest, I’m kind of proud of myself, because I typically don’t “sit with my pain.” I like to push it away and pretend it doesn’t exist.

But not anymore….

And that’s on self-growth.

The outpouring of love & support on social media has truly been incredible…

I could not reply to every person that reached out, but thank you.

The initial shock and horror of the Pitbull attack has faded away, and now I’m left in stage 4 of grief: depression

Jojo is gone, and she’s not coming back.

Jojo was a Texas born and raised red kangaroo, and I truly cared for her like a child.

I wore her in a pouch, changed her diapers and bottle fed her.

My daughter lily is an only child and would often refer to jojo as her sister.

Unfortunately, there is no timeline for grief nor is healing a linear process.

Some days are harder than others without her, and while I know one day, her loss will become easier to bare—

I also know that I will spend every single day of the rest of my life missing her.

On Friday February 17th, I arrived back home from New York Fashion Week.

Whenever I get back from a trip, I usually go see my animals immediately, but this time, I decided to take a bath first.

While I was taking a bath, the neighbor knocked on the door to speak to my husband.

A Pitbull had broken our fence, and it got JoJo, our female red kangaroo.

Video footage shows that she ran for as long as she could, but the dog was determined to kill.

And it succeeded.

She wasn’t just a pet to me.

She was my best friend.

We spent every single day together, and now I’ll spend every single day of the rest of my life missing her.

Rest in peace, my love.

Hi, my name is Tamina, and I’m fundraising for my brother in-law Amin 38 survived by his wife Meryem 33, and their surviving children Suheyl 3 and Lale 7 effected by the 7.8-magnitude earthquake that took place Monday February 6th, 2023 which has killed thousands in Turkiye and Syria including my brother in-law Amin and his two young daughters Bahar 10 and Fariheh 7. 

My brother in law along with his wife and 4 young children the oldest being 10 and their youngest being just 3 years old were trapped under the rubble of the apartment building they were living in since 5am Monday February 6th, 2023. Aid workers didn’t reach them until February 7th 1pm. 

Aid workers were able to finally rescue my sister in-law and two of their children Lale 9 and Suheyl 3 to safety after working over 10 hours. Unfortunately, by the time they reached my brother in-law and his daughters Bahar 10 and Fariheh 7 they confirmed they have passed away. My brother in law and his family left Afghanistan to escape the cruelty of the Taliban so that he may build a better life for his children in Turkiye, only to be faced by this devastating tragedy.

My sister in-law is in critical condition, the doctors had to amputate her leg above the knee. Their daughter Lale and son Suheyl are also in need of surgery. My husband is will reach Turkey Adiyaman to meet his surviving brother Yamma and his family who have also been affected, to retrieve their brother Amin and nieces bodies from under the rubble for burial. 

We are hoping to use these funds to help as many families as we can with housing, food, medical expenses and everything else they will need. The entire city is in ruins and almost all families including our own need to be transported to other cities near by that have not been affected by the earthquake. 

Please keep my family and those effected in your prayers.

Link to Donate: http://spot.fund/x8zm3sc

I graduated from the University of Houston with a Bachelor’s in Marketing, a minor in Sales, and a certificate in Entrepreneurship.

I moved out of my first apartment at the Post Rice Lofts in downtown Houston (See photo of the view from my apt)

I started my first business. (See photo of the preschool)

I found out my ex-fiance was cheating on me and broke off our engagement.

I bumped into Naush again at a party (you can see his back in the photo) and fell in love with him….

It’s 2023 now, and I’m still in love with him. I always will be, God-willing.

If enough people tell me that I matter,

Maybe,

One day,

I’ll begin to believe it.

Maybe,

But probably not.

– a futile effort

After the last twelve weeks, you would think I would be better at goodbyes, but no, this one was difficult. Jane was the first to graduate out of our Intensive Outpatient Program at the DBT Center of Houston. As clinical as it sounds, the program is more like a college course where a group of us came together to learn skills that would help us to better navigate life, including mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance.

If I’m being honest, my first impression of Jane was “why the fuck is she even here…?” She appeared to me to be the opposite of everything a psych patient should look like. She was smart, successful, and organized in a way that I’d never been, but it was as this thought crossed my mind that I learned one of the first lessons of DBT: you can not assume what another person is thinking or feeling

As we covered this chapter, I felt ashamed. Here I was, parading as an influencer, telling others to de-stigmatize mental health, yet I was judging what a psych patient should look like.

This notion continued to be challenged as more and more people were added to our group. We were all different but the same in the sense that we were trying to better our lives, and we were in it together—like a band of misfits hidden in a creaky, white house in the Heights, which had become our safe space. Or rather, we’d become a safe space for each other, and now, it was time to say goodbye.

But it wasn’t goodbye for good. It was more like “see you later.” And as Jane left, I knew she would be okay. She now had the skills to face whatever awaited her in the real world, and soon, I would too.