Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

This year, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

And as bad as it sounds, I’m actually relieved.

Relieved to finally have a proper diagnosis, an explanation for the way I’ve felt and viewed the world for over 10 years now.

I’d always assumed it was anxiety & panic disorder, but it took a family friend, a specialist, to step in and help me finally understand that it’s so much more.

My ups & downs are intense.

My sense of self is constantly shifting.

My fear of abandonment and rejection is debilitating—

My relationships strained as a result.

But this year, I’ve also found a way to appreciate this brain of mine. It doesn’t work like everyone else’s. It’s a little bit different, and that’s ok.

When I feel good—I feel great, above and beyond the level of elation that most feel.

Also, sometimes a little bit of manic can be really, really fun and exciting.

And finally, my creativity is forever fueled by my inner feelings.

For that, I am thankful.

How I overcome imposter syndrome

I often doubt myself.

Imposter syndrome stays in the back of mine, and every time it slips to the forefront of my consciousness, here’s the photos I use to remind myself of who I am:

The Time I was Published in Entrepreneur

The Children’s Book I Wrote

The Personal Brand I Built around honest & authentic storytelling

& The Education I received that NO ONE can Take From Me

I am far from where I want to be both personally and professionally.

I have a long way to go still, and imposter syndrome tries to infiltrate my mind—

But I’m proud of what I have accomplished before 30. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of what I’ve done.

And sometimes I need to remind myself that this is only the beginning

What is the One Photo of my Husband that I Always Carry?

Countless years of having a crush on him—but being too shy to say anything.

6 months of dating.

1.5 years of being engaged.

5 years of marriage.

In this time, there are countless photos I keep in my phone of my husband, but here is the one I love the most.

Every time I see this photo, I fall in love all over again.

What photo of your s/o is your favorite?

Recipe for Chickpea & Rice Bowl

So many of you asked for this recipe. Here it is:

Make some rice mixed with turmeric, onions, garlic & pistachios.

Then, bake the chickpeas & tomatoes for 20 minutes at 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

Mix the chickpeas and tomatoes into the rice & garnish with cilantro, yogurt, hot sauce, feta cheese and/or any topping of your choice.

It’s really that simple—and extremely satisfying.

Saying goodbye to Esperanza

This year has been full of loss—but this one I wasn’t anticipating.

Esperanza, my family’s housekeeper for the last 20 years, has decided to retire and move back to Mexico.

She is not only a housekeeper, though.

She is family.

We came across her when my mom had 3 young children and needed help. An agency helped connect Esperanza to us, and she’s been with us since.

We have been through everything together—Taha’s birth, our school years, graduations, engagements, weddings, Lily’s birth and more.

She also converted to Islam while living with us.

She is a big piece of our heart, but she needs to go home to spend time with her mother.

Of course, we will talk through video calls and visit her, but it’ll never be quite the same as seeing her everyday—or tasting her delicious cooking daily.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish her infinite happiness.