Photo Timeline of Me & Naush’s Relationship

Because I’m a Pakistani-Muslim American girl, dating before marriage—and PDA—are taboo. I wasn’t willing to risk the wrath of society, so my husband & I more or less kept our relationship low-key in the beginning. We have very few pictures together pre-engagement.

Once we got engaged, however, we got the photo shoot of our dreams:

The Engagement Day

Engagement Photo Shoot Day. It was at a vintage, jet-setter themed photo shoot with airplanes and cars at a historic airport terminal.

We also go this photo a few days before our wedding:

Here are our photos of the wedding itself:

The Mendhi Day

The Shaadi/Wedding Day

The Honeymoon at Grand Cayman Islands—swimming with stingrays

At this point, we didn’t care how much PDA we showed. We were married!

And since then…

My Sister’s Wedding Day

Our Pregnancy Photo Shoot

And finally, a little family photo shoot with our baby girl…

And yes, we packed it with PDA

(Sorry, Aunties)

WHAT IS THE WORST THING AN ADULT HAS EVER SAID TO YOUR CHILD?

I was told by MULTIPLE grown adults that they would physically hurt my baby girl after I posted this video on social media:

It was a video of my baby pushing me away from my husband when I tried to kiss him, but instead of pushing me, she ends up half-smacking me on the face.

She’s only one years old, and to her, daddy is her whole world. She does not like to share…

It’s adorable, and while her behavior was aggressive, it’s a NORMAL developmental milestone that kids go through.

Here’s some of the comments we received:

Do you think these comments were justified based on the video?

What is the rudest thing a new neighbor has done to you immediately after you moved in?

Some might call what my neighbor did “rude,” while others might say it was downright CREEPY.

I was legit scared.

So I had just purchased a house with my husband.

We hadn’t moved in just yet. The house was in the renovation stage.

We went to go check on the progress, and I left my car parked outside.

I hopped in my husband’s car, and we went out to eat.

When we came back, my neighbor was standing on the grass in my front yard, looking through my window.

Was he trying to watch me!?

My husband was PISSED.

We drove up slowly, and things got really awkward.

We were passive aggressive as we introduced ourselves, and slowly, he backed off of our front yard.

What would you have done?

10.29.20

I was shaking in fear, desperately clicking the buttons to an electronic key that would not work.

Despite my frantic efforts, the car did not start.

I tried to call my husband, but as usual, his phone was on silent.

I dialed my dad next.

“I think there’s something in my house,” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“I keep hearing someone or something moving around my house. It’s making a lot of noise, and I’m home alone…”

The noise was not as isolated incident.

Last night, my daughter woke up in the middle of night and screamed in terror.

Nothing I did worked to console her.

I tried rocking her. I tried feeding her. I tried holding her against me…

Her screams echoed through the house.

Finally, I began to pray ayat-al-kursi loudly, and her entire body went limp.

I had to check to make sure she was still breathing, and after that, I brought her into bed with me.

Lily’s night terror, coupled with this inexplicable presence in my home, unraveled me.

I have suffered from 5 prior paranormal experiences, and I worried this would be the 6th.

I called a friend to pick me up from outside my house, and once my husband was off from work, we returned home together.

Mouse traps and boxes we had left behind had been overturned, but we could find no animal.

Still, my husband thinks it must’ve been some animal—a possum or raccoon—that found its way into our home.

I’m not sure, but I hope that’s all it is.

Womanhood

There are so many things a woman can be in this world

At least, that’s what we tell girls when they are young,

But all too often, she chooses to be his

Or she loses herself in them

Sometimes, she chooses to be hers

She says she’s happy,

But what a tragedy it is to never have been her own.

 

10.26.20

These lines across my stomach, my hands, my face—

What do they say?

Are the stories worth sharing?

Or am I seeking attention—as they have said.

They.

Them.

Pronouns

The ones that build me up

And/or

The ones that break me down.

Therapy 10.19.20

Today’s session was only me.

Usually Naush joins in, but today, I had a solo session to talk about how I’ve been processing my uncles death.

His passing triggered a lot in me. I’ve never lost an uncle before, and it made me become more focused on religion than ever before.

For some reason, I felt my husband should be on the same page as me—and snap into zealot mode just because that’s how I was feeling.

I took a lot of emotion out “at him,” which wasn’t right.

I’m working on it, but luckily he was very understanding that these intense emotions were triggered by a traumatic incident.

Next session will be only him.

We have a beautiful relationship, but I truly feel every couple can benefit from therapy.

And not just every couple—but every individual

Have you tried it?

The Burial

I have never visited a cemetery until today.

And to see my uncle being laid to rest right beside my grandmother—

It was heavy.

But after today, I’m no longer afraid of graveyards.

There’s something incredibly spiritual about being in a place where you are reminded so strongly of your mortality.

And furthermore, it does not matter who you are

Your race

Your color

Your religion

The same soil covers us all