What are the Top Lessons I Learned in my 20s?

Here are a few of the most difficult things I went through in my 20s, and as hard as some of this was to get through—these experiences were ultimately my greatest teachers.

I hope you might learn from them too, as these are essential lessons for most 20-year-olds.

  1. I got cheated on by someone I was with for 7 years— I learned to walk away from what was not right for me. I learned my self worth, and I finally got to a point where I wasn’t willing to give that up for anyone
  2. I got diagnosed with Anxiety, Panic Attacks & Borderline Personality Disorder—which taught me that I a) struggle with emotional regulation and relationships and b) how to re-gain control via medication, therapy, prayer, exercise, meditation, a support system, and will-power.
  3. I got $140,000+ stolen from me—this taught me not to trust as easily as I once had, especially in business. It also taught me how to re-build myself after financial devastation.
  4. I experienced a major falling out with my in-laws— but ultimately, I learned the value of family and forgiveness. I learned to move forward, even when it’s not difficult, and love despite the shortcomings of both myself and others.
  5. I lost more friends than I can count—For a while, I thought I was simply “unlikeable,” but I realized that often the greatest people are the loneliest. They keep their circles small. I now value one-on-one relationships far more than being part of friend groups that are often drama fueled.
  6. And More…

This is just a slice of what I’ve been through and overcome in my 20s, but again, I’m grateful for the lessons. Maybe they’ll help you too.

Why Do I Post Content Even When I Look Like Shit?

“You look musty…”

“Do you ever brush your hair?”

“Why don’t you ever look put together?”

These are just a few of the comments I’ve received on my content this week alone, and to be honest, I’m un-fazed.

Let me explain.

This is how I look RIGHT now:

And this is how I look when I clean up…

But the premise of my content has always been “being real….”

And though I do like to doll up from time to time, the reality is that most days I look like the first picture

And I’m ok with it.

I know that I can look gorgeous if I need to, and I know that the people in my life love me regardless of what I look like.

I’m secure.

As for social media, well— most people I know wait to post when they have time to put some makeup on, but I create tons of content daily.

I’m talking about blog posts, photos, 5-6 short videos, YouTube videos, and I’ll hop on IG live from time to time.

I don’t have it in me to dress up all day every day.

I’m a mom.

I’m an entrepreneur.

I’m an animal mom to five fur babies.

I’m a wife.

I’m a homemaker.

I’m busy as fuck, and more importantly, I’m happy with who I am

And I want you to be too.

My authenticity is what most people vibe with, and to be honest, no matter how much I get made fun of for my appearance, I’m going to keep showing up 100% as me

Confident is sexy ✌️

What is the Best Relationship Advice I’ve ever Received?

My mother and father may not have the most outwardly romantic marriage.

Not many date nights or flowers, but what they do have is over 30 years together—and to this day, they are head over heels for each other.

When my mom first gave me marriage advice, I didn’t think much of it.

That is—until I was married—and things were far different than the fairytale version of “happily ever after” that I had in mind.

My husband & I would bicker over the smallest things, and the small fights would escalate quickly.

We would yell, cry, and worst of all—we wouldn’t give each other space to cool back down.

We continued to “fuel the fire,” and as far as fires go, there were many of them in the first year.

My mom advised me, “When one is mad, the other should instantly give him or her space.”

Once we began applying that, everything changed for us.

Minor conflicts would arise, of course, but we learned to de-escalate quickly thanks to her advice.

She also said, “Do small things for him often, whether that be to bring him his favorite snack. Dress up for him. Bring him a warm towel after his shower, etc.”

She reminded me that these small gestures of love and affection often mattered more than the grand ones people often displayed on social media.

So I started to do this.

Snacks, small gifts, mini surprises, love notes, date nights, dressing up—etc.

I haven’t stopped trying in our marriage, nor has he. And we’ve been happily married for 6 years now.

What Was the Moment I Realized I was in Love?

I had a crush on him in high school, but did I really know him?

No.

I just though he was extremely good looking, funny and friendly.

Me on the other hand…

I was the nerdy, emo girl, so I thought I didn’t stand a chance with him.

I never even tried and was absolutely devastated when one of my friends got into a relationship with him—one of my closest friends, actually.

Upon graduating high school, I saw him around maybe once every few years.

For some reason, I vividly remember every encounter I have had with him, time and location.

I wasn’t single anymore, though, and I don’t know whether he was or not during those moments.

It was after graduating college that we bumped into each other again at a friend’s party.

The group of people vibed well, so we planned a few more hangouts.

Naush & I got a chance to see each other more and more, and every time our friends were done hanging out, we would find an excuse to hang out a little bit longer.

One day, we went out to eat at a Thai food restaurant with friends.

After they left, I—pushed Naush into a sprinkler.

It was a childish prank, but he pushed me back.

From there, we found a community swimming pool, which we broke into, and jumped in with all of our clothes still on.

We laughed like kids, and when we saw security pass us by, we hid in the water slides.

After that, we found a park, and we belly flopped down the slide and straight into the mud.

We were dripping in both water and dirt but having the time of our lives and ended the date with tacos.

I knew then that I’d never had more fun with a person, and I never would be able to top this.

He was the one.

And I was in love.

So was he, and here we are, 7.5 years later, married and still as crazy.

How to Start Meditating

For the longest time, I simply didn’t understand meditation…

Were you supposed to just sit quietly for a while?

Sounded boring to me, and I could never seem to sit still or calm my mind.

Then, one day, I went to dinner with an old man.

He was in his 80s and talked about the impact that meditation had on his life, so I gave it another try.

This time, however, I started with guided meditation.

Instead of just sitting still, trying to clear my mind, and/or focus on my breath, I gave myself one simple task:

Listen to the guided meditation, and if your mind begins to wander, gently re-direct your attention back to the audio

I did this for a few minutes a day—and then steadily for longer and longer.

I noticed I started to “distance” myself from my thoughts. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like I could see my thoughts pass by like clouds instead of being “in” the clouds—

This had a huge impact on my mental health, emotional regulation, attention and focus, and more.

Check out my guided meditation playlist here