This year, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
And as bad as it sounds, I’m actually relieved.
Relieved to finally have a proper diagnosis, an explanation for the way I’ve felt and viewed the world for over 10 years now.
I’d always assumed it was anxiety & panic disorder, but it took a family friend, a specialist, to step in and help me finally understand that it’s so much more.
My ups & downs are intense.
My sense of self is constantly shifting.
My fear of abandonment and rejection is debilitating—
My relationships strained as a result.
But this year, I’ve also found a way to appreciate this brain of mine. It doesn’t work like everyone else’s. It’s a little bit different, and that’s ok.
When I feel good—I feel great, above and beyond the level of elation that most feel.
Also, sometimes a little bit of manic can be really, really fun and exciting.
And finally, my creativity is forever fueled by my inner feelings.
For that, I am thankful.