I began to shout uncontrollably as soon as my baby was born.
I praised God loudly, over and over again, because I’d spent the last 9 months terrified I wouldn’t make it to this moment.
Before pregnancy, I had severe anxiety and panic attacks, but I stopped taking my medications when my husband and I decided to try to start a family.
The medications weren’t safe while pregnant, but weaning off of them was a nightmare.
I remember shaking, crying nonstop, and the exhaustion that came from quitting my medication cold turkey (which is not recommended — btw)
It all paid off, however, when I found out I was pregnant one month later.
I’d been so anxious about whether I’d be able to conceive or not, but the moment I found out I was pregnant, a new fear crept in:
What if something happened to the baby?
I could not shake this thought no matter how hard I tried, and my husband will tell you, I spent day and night googling all my symptoms and terrified about any and every potential hazard that could possibly hurt my unborn child.
One symptom, in particular, became worrisome: the itching
At first, I thought my stomach, arms, and feet itching was normal. My body was growing rapidly. I assumed it was “growing pains,” but eventually, it began to feel like there were fire ants on my body.
I googled my symptoms, which my OBGYN told me to quit doing, but I came across a condition called choleostasis of pregnancy, which is a liver disease.
I asked my doctor for a blood test, but despite the severe itching, the blood test came back normal.
My doctor would’ve left it at that, but in my gut, I knew something was wrong.
I asked for another test two weeks later, and sure enough, it came back positive for choleostasis.
One of the risks of choleostasis is stillbirth, especially as the pregnancy progresses.
I was 36 weeks pregnant when I was diagnosed, so the day I hit 37 weeks, I was induced.
As difficult as pregnancy had been, I found labor to be easy, especially with an epidural.
I felt safe at the hospital, and the moment my daughter was born, adrenaline gave way to relief.
I praised God loudly for my biggest blessing, and three years later, I’m still praising Him for my biggest blessing: a happy, healthy daughter named Lily