The Only Memories I Have from Preschool & Elementary…

Is playing alone on the playground

I vividly remember walking around the grass, singing songs to myself, and hanging from the monkey bars—in hopes that it would help me grow big and tall.

Even at lunch time, I remember being made fun of for the “smell” of my ethnic food.

We had assigned seating, and I remember sitting next to both of my bullies—afraid to eat.

In high school, the loneliness did not go away.

I knew a lot of people, but I was close to very few.

To make things even worse, I began dating a narcissist who slowly—and manipulatively—isolated me from everyone I know.

He wanted my attention to be his—and his only—and he succeeded.

In college is when I finally felt a degree of freedom (not full freedom, but enough) to finally meet new people

I finally knew what it felt like to have a friend group, and even though I had to lie to my ex to hang out with them—

I felt like I fit in for the very first time.

I’m still friends with those girls, for now & forever, God-willing, but they’re the ones who taught me what it felt like to finally feel accepted for who I am

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