My mother and father may not have the most outwardly romantic marriage.
Not many date nights or flowers, but what they do have is over 30 years together—and to this day, they are head over heels for each other.
When my mom first gave me marriage advice, I didn’t think much of it.
That is—until I was married—and things were far different than the fairytale version of “happily ever after” that I had in mind.
My husband & I would bicker over the smallest things, and the small fights would escalate quickly.
We would yell, cry, and worst of all—we wouldn’t give each other space to cool back down.
We continued to “fuel the fire,” and as far as fires go, there were many of them in the first year.
My mom advised me, “When one is mad, the other should instantly give him or her space.”
Once we began applying that, everything changed for us.
Minor conflicts would arise, of course, but we learned to de-escalate quickly thanks to her advice.
She also said, “Do small things for him often, whether that be to bring him his favorite snack. Dress up for him. Bring him a warm towel after his shower, etc.”
She reminded me that these small gestures of love and affection often mattered more than the grand ones people often displayed on social media.
So I started to do this.
Snacks, small gifts, mini surprises, love notes, date nights, dressing up—etc.
I haven’t stopped trying in our marriage, nor has he. And we’ve been happily married for 5 years now.